Patrick O'Hara will never forget the men he fought alongside in the Vietnam War.
But he won't be attending a commemorative service marking 50 years since the end of Australia’s involvement in the conflict.
Then a public servant in Geelong, Mr O'Hara heard his birthday had been called in the ballot in November 1967 and that he would be conscripted for national service.
His father, a WWII veteran, was opposed to Australia joining the war and was dismissive of the domino theory but never criticised his son for deploying.
Sitting in his Canberra home alongside his wife of almost 50 years, Kaye, the 76-year-old recounted how he ended up as an artilleryman with the 2nd Battalion, Royal Australian Regiment in Nui Dat.
"I had to select which units and corps and my father said, 'Look, you don't want to be sitting in an office for two years but then you don't want to get your head blown off'," Mr O'Hara said.
Describing himself as an immature and unsure young man, Mr O'Hara began drinking heavily when he returned from the war.
Unable to stomach the public service, Mr O'Hara studied teaching at Australian National University in Canberra, where he met Kaye in 1971.
"I knew and I realised very quickly that we should not have been in Vietnam," he said.
A proud grandfather of seven, it wasn't until the first had been born that Mr O'Hara felt bothered by the deaths caused by the war.
"It was grandchildren who made you realise that life's pretty precious," he said.
Even decades after the war, Vietnam veterans experience challenging moments.
In the mid-2000s, Mr O'Hara was invited to speak to a group at Queanbeyan Golf Club ahead of a trip to Vietnam.
A woman wearing a traditional Vietnamese hat called him a murderer of women and children in front of a stunned crowd.
After a career spent as a high school teacher, including in Indigenous communities, Mr O'Hara worked as an education officer and later as a volunteer at the Australian War Memorial.
But he stopped his work with the war memorial about 15 years ago due to what he describes as an attitude that became "too nationalistic" and politicians frequenting too often.
"Vietnam was very divisive, destructive, hurtful," Mr O'Hara said.
Asked what he wanted people to take away from his story, the veteran, who doesn't march in parades or wear medals in public said: "Don't have wars."
A national commemorative service for the 50th anniversary of the end of Australia’s involvement in the conflict will be held in Canberra on Friday.
It will pay tribute to the 60,000 Australians who served in Vietnam and the more than 3000 wounded and 523 killed.
Mr O'Hara said he won't be attending the event but will honour those he served with in his own way - by remembering them and their sacrifice.
He and Kaye will celebrate their own milestone soon - 50 years of marriage.
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